Goldi's Locks of Yarn

My place to discuss my raging obsession with yarn and crochet along with happenings in my life and the world at large

Friday, April 07, 2006


Recent events on the crochet board I call home have been leaving me feeling pretty stressed and depressed. Much has been written, and responded to, on member (and former member) blogs without receiving a response by those of us being charged with all sorts of nasty behavior. I find it rather ironic that charges have been made that we who run the board (aka "admins" and "mods") can "say whatever we want" and those we supposedly trash on the board are unable to "defend themselves" since they are no longer with us. It's ironic for a couple of reasons: they are no longer with us because they chose to leave, and since until now, virtually nothing has actually been said by us, there has been nothing to defend themselves against!

I write this not because I hope to change the minds of those who chose to leave, because I know that would be a futile effort, and I'm too tired to waste my energy in futility. I write this because many people have developed some misconceptions due to the fact that they only know that something was going on, but they don't know what, except that apparently one person was targeted for "telling the truth". This is the information they have received from the blogs, which they turned to in order to try and figure this all out when they couldn't find it on the board. Some of this was covered in a couple of posts by the board owner, but it doesn't seem to have been enough to clear up the confusion and misconceptions. I don't usually like to talk about board business here, but since this stuff is seriously cutting into my crochet time, I feel I should make an exception just this once.

This particular crisis was initiated by the actions of one deranged gal who decided, for reasons known only to her, to fake her own death. Everyone associated with the board already knows the details of that story. There have been lots of insinuations made about "behind the scenes" manipulations and plotting to "punish" the gal who made the announcement that the death story was a hoax, and she has been set up to be a victim of our wrath when she should have been lauded for her actions. It has been said that we were angry that she "told the truth"! This was not what caused the anger, and since I was the first to voice that sentiment, I would like to set the record straight

It was NOT the fact that she "told the truth" about the faked death - it was the manner in which she went about it. Major situations such as this one, that require careful verification before accusations can be made, are the responsibility of the people who own and run the board, and they were working on this with plans to make their announcement shortly. But this gal decided - on her own - that they weren't getting the job done fast enough and decided to take matters into her own hands in making the announcement she did. In doing so, she also did not consider the effect she might have on those members who were already upset over the possible loss of what they considered a friend, and in her blunt and forthright manner, she managed to further traumatize many people. THIS was what had caused our anger.

To further add insult to injury, one of our moderators decided to betray the trust of her position and relay this private conversation to the person in question since they were friends. Yes, there is an area on the board where those of us who manage the day to day operations can go to discuss issues that need addressing, which is separate from the general areas. There isn't a forum in the world that doesn't have that, and yet we are being charged with these "crimes" of behind the scenes manipulations. I can tell you for a fact that this is a pretty small area with not a whole lot of postings in it, the vast majority dealing with topics like how to manage the swaps, what to do about those members who sign up for them and then don't follow through, requests to move threads that have been posted in wrong areas and other BORING mundane stuff, things that help to keep the board running smoothly. But now it is a crime to have that!

Now, as to this "punishment" thing. Looking at what was written, never once was there mention made of meting out a "punishment". In my case, the term I used was that she deserved a good "chewing out". When the accusation was made that had it been anyone else there wouldn't be a problem, in my rebuttal I stated this was not so and reiterated the "chewing out" and gave the example of how I would do it were it my best friend: "What WERE you thinking?!" That is a direct quote, folks. Where in that do you see "punishment" writ large?

So now the auction was placed on hold, since she was running it, and new charges levied: we were plotting to hold off this imaginary "punishment" until after she'd run the auction! This charge was made on certain blogs and was parroted in a post by one of the (now former) members in the open member topic thread where this discussion was taking place. The charge was so preposterous that the owner, in a gut reaction, deleted it and closed down the thread. She has since reinstated the message and posted a response to the charges in it, though many of you may miss that.

In all fairness to the gal that has been heading this board, these recent events have taken a toll. She had not been participating for the past few months due to the arrival of her first child, and trying to deal with this conflagration while continuing to handle her responsibilities as a new mom may have caused her to make a few errors in judgment in handling this situation. I would hope the membership can remember this and find it in their hearts to be less judgmental about it. She has tried her best, while also trying to appease those who wish that this no longer be discussed. It is for this reason that I am making this post here instead of on the board, with the hope that anyone who is still confused and has questions can find the answers here.

There has been a certain core group of members from the original ezboard forum who have been disgruntled with the board for some time now, they happen to be the major players in this drama that developed, and took this as their opportunity to leave and form their own little private community. I wish them well and hope they find what they were looking for in their new digs, and I hope they can now move on and leave the board alone to recover in our own way, which we will. I also hope that members of the board will refrain from getting into a blog war with them, as it will not be beneficial for anyone and there can be no winners. It is best to just leave them be and let them go their own way.

There have been certain accusations made about some administrative stuff that we have taken note of and are looking into with the plan to address them. But please be patient with us - we are ALL part-time volunteers in this endeavor, and things are not able to progress as quickly as some of you may wish.

Comments are enabled here, and I will not be turning them off, so feel free to comment away. With my advance apologies, I am going to state up front, however, that I probably will not be able to respond. I have a hard enough time keeping up with things as it is, and as far as I'm concerned, this matter is put to rest for me with this statement. Further hashing things out will only lead to circular arguments, which serve no good purpose. I have some crocheting to do! However this may be, I will not be deleting any comments - that is not my way, whether you may have thought so or not. Your comments will stand for all the world to see, should you choose to leave any.

And now, I am going to answer the siren call of my Iris Seraphina, which is getting ever closer to becoming an FO. With as many PIGs as I have (my thanks to Bren for that term, "projects in grocery sacks" meaning materials and pattern on hand and project ready to roll), the sooner she is finished, the better!


  • At 4:31 AM, Blogger Wendy said…

    Should we all run to our blogs to give an interpretation of what happened? Or better yet, maybe Donna should just allow everyone to read it themselves and then they can judge. That would clear up any confusion and we can all be judged for what is there in print.

    Sorry Goldi, but I don't see what your point is unless you are just trying to perpetuate the situation.

  • At 8:53 AM, Blogger ThreeOliveMartini said…

    I have to agree with Wendy.. we are all mostly done with this .. but yet you decide to stir it some more.. and i dont believe the word "punish" has been used.. disciplined yes.. and until you see all the correspondance and conversations being had with Donna, myself, and other members you cant say what was going to happen or not with the auction..

    good luck with getting the board back where you want it.. and of course they dont all know the truth because you have decided to be one woman Gestapo and sanitize it for every one..

  • At 11:12 AM, Blogger Deneen said…

    You made a statement that stays with me "volunteers"-donating our time to help out.

    To mistreat, and don't sugarcoat it, that is exactly what it was, volunteers for voicing an opinion on how things have gone downhill (and that's all it was) is absolutely appalling.

    While I'm here "betray" is word you also used. I have to tell you, if someone is using a friend of mine, I sure as hell am going to step up. Not stepping up is a worse betrayal.

    Also, "disciplined" was the word used, not "punished".

    The board starting falling apart and getting borderline ridiculous. The admins and a few specific mods, and you know who they are, took it upon themselves to decide what could and could not be said on the board. The nitpicking of posts was so assinine. Every post was practically dissected and you Goldi were the main culprit of that. You also, for some reason unknown to me, decided to double check other mods forums, make deletions, etc as you saw fit.

    I am still surprised at how vicious and how the truth was twisted to make the admins look like sweethearts. You know Donna was gone for months and the board is essentially, no matter how she states it, her board. We all had babies Goldi and you and I both know life goes on and doesn't stop. Things got out of hand, have her blame herself and stop pointing fingers elsewhere.

  • At 9:44 PM, Anonymous Diane said…

    I want to thank you, Goldi, for giving a clear, reasonable account of what happened. Despite the amazingly large amount of words and energy those who tell the other side of the story give, not only on blogs, but in comments, I have not heard an account of what happened from them - only angry accusations, innuendos, sarcasm and insults. The lack of any information in their writings is telling, and their hurt feelings are evident, but I have to question the objectivity of their views, or their willingness to let life go on. At any rate, you are right - they have given much more material, (including images in the last day or so - so much for moving on) to this than any one of the Administrators at Crochetville.

    What everyone involved, including you and perhaps the administrators, do not realize is that, though Crochetville may not be the small village it once was, the majority of its members have moved on and are not largely affected by any of this. I am not sure what DRAMA everyone is referring to...I have found that people who notice those events are usually those who start it or seek it out. Right now, other than the sadness that older friends must feel from losing members and the administrators must feel from this blow up, the board appears very peaceful and happy. I am enjoying my time there as much, if not more than in the past. I am certain it will keep going strong.

  • At 10:43 PM, Blogger sara said…

    hey goldi, i just wanna say i really appreciate you and like you. seems you have gotten into the middle of a mess and i wish you an easy way out. if you need ears, or a shoulder or a note ( please excuse goldi from participating today, she has had enough) just let me know

  • At 7:28 PM, Blogger Norah said…

    Oh Goldi, what a mess!! I'm so sorry to hear you had to go through all that.

  • At 9:39 PM, Blogger Donna Lynn said…

    Goldi, thanks for sharing your side of the story! I do hope this will finally be rested at last. I think you have done a fantastic job and I can only hope that A)those who left do find what they are looking for and find peace there, and B)that they will leave those of us who still call the Ville home in peace.

    I have grown to love Crochetville even more over the past few weeks and no matter what happened, didn't happen, was said, wasn't said, I am glad that it appears as though it's a nice, peaceful place again.

    Most of us completely understand what you all go through behind the scenes and are greatful for the time and effort you put into the boards.

  • At 2:08 AM, Anonymous Grete said…

    Just want to give you a hug...
    This must be a hard time for you. It is sad when a forum is beeing destroyd like this. But I thing it happens on all forum sometime. But it is still sad.

    Hope everything will getting back to normal in Crochetville soon.


  • At 10:26 AM, Blogger jaclim said…

    Hi Goldi! I really don't know what happened and I'm glad you finally put here your side of the story. I love the 'ville and I still got lots of good friends there who stayed. I'm sorry to see some who left and I'll miss them but the 'ville will remain a happy place for most of us. hugssss

  • At 9:44 PM, Anonymous Joe said…

    Reminds me of another list we used to belong to, eh, Goldi? :o/ That was about 1 year ago as I recall...


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